Seaweed Mud

Hmmm well that was a different experience courtesy of my Sands. As today was a at sea day floating on the Mediterranean from west in Spain heading east for our last two days cruising to Naples then up the west coast of Italy to Civitavecchia our final port and 1 hour north of Rome.
So 10am it's up to deck 14 to the day spa, I do have massages back home but this one took the cake and also a fair chuck of the holiday budget, but relax and enjoy.

Samantha my South African beauty therapist took me into a large room with glass windows floor to ceiling overlooking the ocean ... nice... Told to strip and put on this pair of disposable undies hmmmm so it true one size doesn't fit all! With a towel for some modesty I'm told to lay face up on what was like a rubber and plastic covered bed/table. What has Sandy got me booked into, paint the walls black and I could be into sort of adult entertainment movie!!!!
Once on board the hard surface with a towel as a pillow and slightly pointing down hill with the blood running to my head and with most of my bits tucked into the disposable undies she then comes back into the room for a bit of a chat about what to expect.
She was such a bubbly young thing on speed or the like and asked if I was "EXCITED" ... this girl clearly loves her job a little bit too much. Then she asked about what ailments I had or was I wanting to loose weight.... Sweet pea you only have 2 hours but if I could loose 20kg that would be great.... but I'm sure even you can't do that for me in the allotted time, but thanks for asking!
So now I really feel good about myself here on this very hard bed. She than proceeded to draw pictures of what I think was my arm showing the location of my tendentious and the many scribbled drawing about how seaweed will help everything that is clearly wrong with me and that I was unaware of only moments before ... I'm sure that art school was not one of her mayors studies.

Now with the art lesson is over we can get down and dirty, but first she brushes me with a firm brush to get my blood to come to the surface.... Hmmmm thanks for that... She told me that she had a dog back home! Perhaps she is miss it.
Then she applies this seaweed mud all over my front side and asks me to sit up so she can apply it to my back, all the time commenting on how lovely it is to work on a real man!!!! Being so tall and hairy, again thanks ... but not sure if that was all totally a complement, maybe she learnt from beauty therapy school that she must try to complement the customer, so perhaps Samantha a bit more work on that one....

As I look around the room wondering are we being filmed and am I going to be on some sort of European freak porno! Relax ... go with it ... Sandy has given this girl permission to have her freaky way with me so ... it has to get better.
Now I'm basted like a hunk of meat her next complement is that I look like the incredible hulk... Thanks! I think....at least it wasn't Shrek.

I'm wrapped in the thin plastic drop sheet that I'm laying on and then enveloped in the very heavy rubber one that is hanging down beside the bed. Than with a smile she tell me that she has kept the best bit till last, oh goodie! Then to my delight the table turns into a water bed and I start to float in this hot cocoon for the next 20min or until I start to sweat. I asked her to scratch my forehead and as she does she comments on how dry my skin is, here was I thinking how lovely it was in this Mediterranean climate but no what a naughty boy was I so she then proceeded to rub moisturiser all over my head and face.
So not sweeting enough and my girl said until I sweat more we can't go to the next step as I DO need to release all that bad stuff that I'm internally holding onto, so up goes the heat. Finally with sweat now running off my face I'm then released from my rubbery constraints, the water is drained away and it's back to the hard surface once more. She helps me stand then unwraps me from my sticky plastic sheeting and the cool air of the room is a pleasant delight.
So off you go then, have a shower than I will do a all over body massage, fantastic as thats was what I thought I was getting in the first place.

On to the massage table for a hour and half of real bliss Samantha knows how to give a deep massage and it so good. So once all is over she comes back into the room and the hard sell starts to rid me of all my toxins but I am fond of my toxic side and declined the drugs.

Be grateful I don't have an image to upload!